Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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