I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
