Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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