And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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