My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
