My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bring me that man meat
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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