Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
