U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
