I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
