I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
