awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
