he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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