It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
