I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
