Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
