Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
