I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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