Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
