he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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