I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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