Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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