Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
