I hate all girls vehemently.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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