He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
