All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
