Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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