Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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