Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
