Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
