At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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