i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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