spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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