How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
