WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
