Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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