no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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