Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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