Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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