The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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