If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
