took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
