I'm eating all of the evidence.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Enjoy the penises
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
