Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
