wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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