READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
