In the future we'll all be gay
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
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