mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
