can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He passed out mid-signature
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
