In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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