i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
